throughout the night, we chit chatted alot, including craps and true words from his heart... i can feel his love for me... and he expressed to me alot of things... i'm really very glad about it! love him loads... his birthday is on sunday!!! going his house for buffet... looking forward to spending my days with him, cause i haven't been seeing him for twelve days!!! sufferring for both of us man...
yesterday chit chatted with his sis and bro at his house... seems like my relationship with his family is getting better(my own assumption)... LOL... hope that they won't dislike me bah.... haha! hope that i'm likable=)
below contents is my rantings, if you do not wish to read then leave.
sometimes i really wonder why am i so soft hearted... does good people really ended up with good retribution? but why, i'm the more obedient one, helps to do my family stuffs, do this and that, and i still don't get what i want... maybe i should be rellious to get what i want... you know, i can lie to you all about my whereabouts, but why i ask for permissions? cause i respect you all... but why... HELLOO.... now its already 21st generation and i'm 20 already... why still keep nagging when i stay out late, why i cant stay at my boyfriend house. and stop using the word "always", i never always go out late with him, and its me who wanted it, so dun blame him. and i only go out with him one week 2 or three times, is that always???
and i already explained, he's in army, different from my ex, i only get to see him for that few days, and when i get to meet him when he books out, its already what time, obviously i will go out till late, if not meet a few hours for what? why this reason just cant get through you mind? PISSED! and its obviously you all have prejudice against him... i hate it! stop comparing the past me and now. if i've changed is also not because of him! i've always been a good girl, maybe its time for a change... being a good girl is tirng and get nothing out of it...
and do you all know i feel that i want to be rebellious? do you all know that someday i will... do you all know that when you all keep stopping me to do something i feel like doing it... do you all know that the more you all are afraid of me doing wrong things, and hence stopping me to go his house or stay over, the more i feel like doing it? i feel that in this generation, parents shouldn't tell their kids to not to do this or do that, so what if you keep saying? the most, i'll face up to whatever consequences. i know i might be unfillial here, but this is how i feel all these years... i've really been a good girl, but now, i've my life! can you all just stop stopping me life! mum doesn't have her life, she feels lonely, so she expects us to stay at home and accompany her???? does that mean that we cant have our life??? what the fuck is this man! so remember, if one day i ever to lie or be rebellious, dont ever blame others! its my own choice and its you all who created it!
